I have been eating. A lot. I have been eating so much that, when I saw my doctor on Wednesday morning she said such comforting things as:
“Wow. You’re getting pretty soft, Desi.” And:
“I’ve been your doctor for, what? Fourteen years, now? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite this soft.” And then went on to clarify that while she had seen me through two pregnancies – after five years of Depo-Provera that had me weighing nearly 170 pounds – that at no time in those years would the term “soft” have appropriately applied.
Okay, then.
Let’s not dwell on the persistent ITBS in my right knee. Or the two-week-old quadriceps tendonitis bursa in my left knee. Or the brand-spanking-new heel spur in the left foot. I’ll just hobble on over to the kitchen, press my flabby – ahem, soft – midsection up to the counter, and get myself another snack.
*sobs*
I’ve been furiously compiling new foods to add to my list, and what I’m sharing with you here is only about half of what I’ve discovered recently (you know, while watching my stories with ice on both knees and a heating pad wrapped around my foot). I haven’t been running. I haven’t been working out. I just have one of those jobs that keeps me on my feet all day and, well…. I see an orthopaedic surgeon in a couple of weeks. Hopefully he can tell me how one running injury (that was actually a cycling injury) turned into this cascade of physical malfunctions that has me feeling aged. And grouchy.
In the meantime? Let’s eat!
The Good:
Salted Caramel Fudge Brownies
From my friend FW, who bakes. (Have you got yourself a friend who bakes, yet? No? What are you WAITING for?!?!) Divine, I tell you. Divine. I could lie and say my husband and children got to have some of these, but I won’t betray our trust that way.
Post-gluttony thigh-rub is sexy… right?
Spaghetti Squash With Pesto
I don’t like squash. (And by that I mean, I HATE squash.) But this? This was actually very good. I roasted the whole spaghetti squash in the oven for about 45 minutes, then used a fork to scrape the “noodles” onto a plate. Tossed with a little of my husband’s homemade basil pesto and a bit of freshly grated parmesan? I’m drooling just thinking about it. Much better than boxed pasta. Simple and fresh-tasting, and seriously the perfect light lunch.
Barbecue Eel Sushi
I picked this up at the Asian supermarket deli, and was frankly a tad bit uneasy about it. I mean, we are a long way from the ocean, here in central Alberta, and so “fresh” seafood involves a least some poetic license, and “fresh” seafood packaged in a take-away package on a refrigerated counter….
I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen?”, cast aside the logical visions of explosive diarrhea and intravenously administered restorative fluids, and bought it anyway.
The verdict? So yummy. A little sweet, barely fishy-tasting, with subtle and welcome variations in texture between the eel, the rice and the band of seaweed. So yummy!
Barbecue Duck
My daughter loved this. LOVED it! She finished a serving about this size, then ate the skin off of my serving, then had a second serving of her own. Gloriously messy, marinated in salty wonderfulness and basted in sticky-sweet sauce, roasted, and then unceremoniously hacked into pieces: Does it GET better?
Fried Pork Dumplings
This was actually my third serving. I had these once with soy sauce, once with plum sauce, and once with sweet chili sauce and all of the times I wanted more. (Thigh-rub, you say?) Those tasty little pockets are stuffed with seasoned pork, shredded cabbage, possibly some carrot, and other mysterious goodness. I have no chop-stick skills, so I ate them with my fingers and then tidied myself daintily with one (okay, several) table napkins.
Chocolate Cream Puffs
My daughter has a Minnie and Moo story called The Case of the Missing Jelly Donut. When it is suggested that a bandit may have crept in and stolen Minnie’s cream puffs, the poor cow is immediately in a state of pure panic. I get it, now. The next batch is going in the safe.
Salsa Verde
A few of you were kind enough to recommend I try Salsa Verde after I raved about tomatillos. I am so grateful. THANK YOU! Salsa verde is goood. It’s not as acidic as tomato salsa, and has a sweeter, sort of smoother taste and texture, as well. It was just awesome with multigrain nacho chips.
Next time? I’ll melt some Monterey Jack cheese over all of it, add some avacado chunks, maybe some tomatoes, and bring the works down to the office with me to stuff my face in private focus on my studies.
Salmon E Gamberi
Here is the Sorrentino’s menu description: “Grilled salmon and prawns with salsa rossa, capers and balsamic reduction”. I had mine over roasted vegetables and I don’t have adjectives to tell you how good it was. My girlfriends and I were out for dinner together, and I ate this between belly laughs and cackles and the sort of good conversation that happens when ladies who don’t see each other often enough leave their husbands and kids at home. Perfection, I tell you.
And then?
Gelato Tartufo
I had this: “Zabaione cream center, surrounded by chocolate gelato and caramelized hazelnuts, topped with cocoa powder”. Oh. My. God. There are not words.
The Bad:
Maybe “bad” is a bit of a harsh description, but I tried several things I just didn’t enjoy much during my face stuffing quest for new gastronomical experiences. Herewith:
Mango Mousse
Like a mysteriously flavourless jello mould….
Steamed Shanghai Pork Buns and Shanghai Onion Buns
Like my disastrous effort to make gluten-free green onion cakes…. Even the pork ones.
Steamed Rice Cake
Like a chemically-sweetened Bee mop. And none of its ingredients contain rice!
Japanese Cheese Cake
Frighteningly reminiscent of the “omelet” I was served at the hospital the morning after my daughter was born. Reconstituted egg product with a bit of sugar brought into proximity of processed cheesed before being mechanically extruded into the shape presented here.
Wowzers.
The lesson? Convenience food at the Asian supermarket is usually just as crappy as convenience food anywhere else. Especially when the label on the bottom says “Made in Taiwan”.
*shudders*
Alright! So that makes FIFTY-EIGHT new foods, and I’ve got a camera-full to share with you later in the week. I might even nail this quest early! Woot! And hopefully just in time for my body to consent to rigourous exercise, again. One can only be called “soft” so often before one starts to feel a tad bit stabby.
Just sayin’.
Happy munching, my friends!
